Thoughts I NEVER wanted to experience!

I never, ever wanted to experience the thoughts of.....

..... dying.

..... going to bed at night not knowing whether or not I am
going to wake up the next morning.

.....waking up in the morning and saying to myself, "Whew, THANK GOD I am still alive!"

.....looking at myself in the mirror and wondering what it would
look like if my breasts were gone and they were replaced by a bunch of ugly scars.

.....whether or not I was going to be able to continue to be the physically strong person
that I was BEFORE I got Breast Cancer and had to have surgery.

.....letting people see my weaknesses.

.....knowing that for the rest of my entire life I will be known as a
"BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR."

.....knowing for the rest of my entire life cancer could come back somewhere else in my
body!

.....at age 44, having to change my eating habits, exercise pattern, and things that I
have grown accustomed to.

.....not being there for the people that have depended on me.

These are all things that I think about every minute, of every day.

I made this up and this is what I tell myself as often as possible and
it helps me to maintain a level of being normal:

I LIVE with cancer,
There is cancer IN me,
But......................
I AM NOT CANCER!!!

I will let cancer change me, for the better,
but I will NOT let cancer control me!!

It can consume my thoughts, for now,
but I will NOT let it consume my spirit!!

I want to be ME - cancer free - JUST ME!!